Portal 2 Review

Okay so I’ve decided to do a review of Portal 2 just to demonstrate my continued undying love of videogames despite my focus on films. Plus it should be quick and easy simply because ultimately it can be boiled down to one word, awesome

My initial fears were that Valve were going to take their premise established in Portal 1, the portal gun, and simply do what most sequels do- apply the philosophy of “bigger, badder, better”. With the additions of: lasers, laser cubes, light walls, 3 different gels, water, beam rays and for coop another 2 portals to play around with, the worry was that the puzzles were going to become painfully complex rendering what no puzzle game should become- frustrating.

I don’t know how they did it but each puzzle is very, very simple and when you see the solution it clicks and you simply awe in how clever it is. What normally I found was my biggest hurdle was that I always thought the solution was more complicated than it was, there is no convolution in any of the puzzles- everyone is stripped down to it’s essence. Proof of it’s success is that the real achievement of a well-made puzzle game is that it makes you feel like a genius capable of anything- absolute divine, immense satisfaction at completing a chamber. Portal manages this more than anything else. On a tangent, what games tend to do in trying to achieve that sense of satisfaction is just making their game stupidly difficult a la, Super Meat Boy, N+ and Ninja Gaiden and whilst there are benefits to doing so- its always amazing to be incredible at a game- its something very impressive when you can get that same boost from a game that’s relatively easy.

An aspect of this, especially in coop, is that the Valve were too fearful in making the puzzles hard AT ALL. I would have loved to see at least a few where all of the elements were combined in one chamber but I understand the restraint. I’m not sure whether this is a criticism or not but in coop the main challenge was a problem of communication and relation to your partner. You never feel so clearly a sense of teamwork when you’re in a tractor beam heading for some spikes waiting for your teammate to press the button that will reverse the flow. You’re powerless and your life is in their hands.

Despite it being cooperative there is a fierce unspoken competition and the fully concentrated power of two people both trying to solve the puzzle first makes the chambers that much easier to solve. When you fuck up there is a deep seated sense of humiliation that you refuse to let happen again- the worst words to hear are “do you mind if I have a go at your job”?

Portal is absolutely stunningly scripted with a collection of hysterical characters, awesome set pieces (the ending blew my puny mortal mind) and brilliantly, brutally crafted one-liners. Valve has really got a distinct, unique brand of humour that, I’m not sure I’m right in saying this, is targeted at nerds (in the positive sense). All of it seems to be specifically designed to invade the nerd hive mind, sub-culture a la “the cake is a lie”. A side note, by the way, I quote Benji in saying ‘If they mention cake once in Portal 2, it will be ruined’ and thank the Gods (i.e. the people from Valve) they did not.

But enough good stuff right? It’s boring to read. Valve are NOT gods; just extremely clever mortals. Portal is so well scripted because of the fact that it’s a very clever narrative trick. GLaDOS delivers a line, you do a test chamber, GLaDOS delivers another line- rinse and repeat. Portal is about as linear a narrative as you can get an is therefore not particularly ambitious. Yes, the lines and characters are amazing but when you take the leap of faith like Shadow of the Colossus and deliver a narrative with no lines whatsoever but still create a narrative masterpiece; then I will call you gods. I think the distinction can be made with the distinction between a comedy and a (drama, adventure, action) narrative; one you laugh at, one you cry with. In this was SotC takes advantage of games as an INTERACTIVE experience rather than a passive one that washes over you. For how restrictive it was I think it could have done with more of that incredible voice acting, and repeated lines disappointed me fairly early on.

But enough philosophy about the nature of games as a medium. Portal has some issues in terms of having a lot of parts that weren’t puzzles at all especially in the parts that aren’t Aperture Science approved test chambers. I found myself walking, admiring the scenery and then coming to a stand still with no way forward. The solution was always just to look around for ages till you found a spot where you could portal and then move on. In fact, that’s another criticism the Portal test chambers were needlessly massive. Some of the best puzzles were in the smallest rooms where you can see everything all at once and it wasn’t about looking so much as thinking. I think the prime example would be the room with two lasers, one laser box and 3 laser receivers (I think my favourite puzzle).

Talking about just looking- this is another idea from Benji. Portal was sometimes just about observation. Portal 1 gave you a square room and the power of physics to come up with your own solutions (I know this isn’t wholly true but at least that was the illusion). Portal 2 showed you a platform, a button, a box and some propulsion gel. It was obvious immediately that the box goes on the button and the propulsion gel goes on the floor so you can get to the platform. They even throw chequered panels to show you specifically where stuff is meant to go and that ruins part of the magic. Dare I say it- did Valve succumb to a bit of ‘casual gamers make loads of money’ mentality?

I’m being a little cynical and I ‘no’ would be the answer. Portal is a fucking masterpiece that took considerable effort to shit upon. It has revolutionized the way we move around in our levels, and the way we look at levels at all in any game. It took the physics engine from Half-Life that had us gawping at how see-saws work and provided a sandbox experience that didn’t just let you pick the clothing for your shitty avatar but bend the laws of physics to your will.

And fuck this shit, I'm not going to apologise for my grammar any more.